Yet another fabulous idea from the people in charge…

Prisons are over-crowded. So what do we do? We shorten criminal’s sentences, and in some cases we subject the naughty bastards to community service: brushing the streets and painting fences for 6 weeks will teach those buggers not to rape anybody in future…

Somehow, I’m not surprised by this. If you look at previous fantantic ideas to deal effectively with the criminal element you’ll soon arrive at my favourite one of them all:

What did we do with all the convicts in the country? That’s right: we sent them to a paradise tropical island called Australia. In the meantime, we all stayed here in England, enjoying the never-ending rain and the beautiful gale-force winds that make the cheeks blush blood-red and the eyes weep with anguish. Whoever thought of that one really wants congratulating in a special way.

And here we are again today, faced with the same problem. And this time, ironically, we can’t send them to Australia because they decided to make up some immigration laws to stop everybody else from moving in!

OK, so let’s review the options:

We have a bunch of psychopaths and we can’t fit them all into small cells.

1. We could shoot them and be done with them.
Problem: this would cause an uproar.
Ok: we could shoot them, be done with them AND tell nobody.
Ok, let’s be humane about this.

2. We send them to a paradise island.
Nope. We already did that one.

3. We send them to France.
No objections there…

I have a better idea. These people are mostly violent types: they like to punch and get punched; bully and abuse. OK, why don’t we slip some uniforms on them and send them out to the front line? Chose a conflict – any conflict. There you go. Have fun.

At least when they get shot to pieces, it was for their country…

If that was the way criminals were dealt with, I would stop stealing stationary.